Random Thought

Random thought I just had: Why do we always say, "get your shoes and socks on"? Shouldn't it be said in the order that we put them on? Shouldn't it be get your socks and shoes on. You can't very well put your shoes and then your socks on. Then again, I may be the only one that has been told and tells his kids to, "get your shoes and socks on".

Good Old Days

Remember the good old days when ketchup was ketchup? Now days you have light ketchup, ketchup with calcium, ketchup with beta 12, ketchup with extra tomatoes, ketchup with ketchup added, etc. There's stuff added to stuff that should just be left alone. Or things that are made light that shouldn't be light. Like bacon, bacon should not be light.
The other funny thing that I saw today was a license plate cover that said, and I quote, "51% Angel 49% B**ch - Do You Want To Try Your Luck?" That wasn't the funny part. The funny part was that there was a 70 year old man driving the car. Note to self, never get a gender specific bumper sticker, license plate cover or license plate.

Tour of Utah

Well I guess they're going to give it another shot next year. The Tour of Utah is back. Even better they are coming to O Town! Not just passing through either, ending here on day two. Check it out!

What A Weekend!

What a weekend! I'm pooped. Friday afternoon Mr. Stayathomedad (AKA Me) took the kids to the Dinosaur Park. My sister and her kids, Lacey and her kids, and Annie and her kid came as well. Me and the ladies, it's a little weird, but it sure does help with school (not hanging out with the ladies, but not working).

This is caveman Lincoln, he was smiling bigger right before I took the picture too late.

This is monkey man Lincoln. He's either going to be a gymnast or a daredevil.
I don't know where Lincoln learned to push someone in a swing, but thanks to my gigantic telephoto lens I was able to get him pushing his cousin Grace in the swing. He's a good kid when he wants to be.
We tried to get Alivia to lie down for a little nap, but obviously with all the exciting noise around she couldn't sleep. She started peeking out to see what was going on.

Today (Saturday) took the kids to the Black Island Farms today. Good times. It was a little cold this morning, but the bad part was the dew. The slides were soaking wet. It was funny because Lincoln would start down the slide expecting to go fast, then he'd stop half way down.

This is him being himself and smiling for the camera.

This is Alivia being herself and smiling.

We did the little corn maze. We tired to freak the kids out by saying that we were lost, but they just wanted to pick the corn, which wasn't the point of the maize.We took the hay ride and they take you out to pumpkin patch where you pick out your very own pumpkin. There are thousands of pumpkins to pick from and even this late in the season all the pumpkins were great. It was a lot of fun.

The kids had quite the weekend, Dino Park Friday, Farm on Saturday. I need a break now.

Crime fighting to the MAX!

I just wanted to share a little crime fighting story from last night...well actually this morning, but that's not important to the story. Anyway, I was up late doing some homework and didn't get to bed until about 12 AM. After I had settled in and was trying to sleep heard some men talking outside. So as snoopy as I am, I had to look to see who it was and what they were doing. When I couldn't see anything out front I laid back down. Stacy got up and looked out the other window and there were three guys smoking "something" (pretty sure it was the funky weed) outside the window below us. Stacy called the police and they got there in about three minutes (which was a surprise to us both). The three guys saw the officer and tried to hide behind the wall then they took off running. To make a long story short the police only caught one of them, but after talking to neighbors it sounds like it was one of the guys in the apartment building. Either way we felt pretty good about what we'd done when we finally got to sleep at about 2 AM. The cops were hoping that it was some vandals that have been breaking into cars around here. They said that there has been a break in about every night for the past two weeks.

I'm pretty sure we're nominated for the citizens of the month now.

PINK FLOYD!!!

I forgot to tell everyone about the killer Aussie Pink Floyd show that I went to on Friday. They have come every year for the past four years and this was my second time seeing them. They are a Pink Floyd tribute band that is actually endorsed by Pink Floyd. This is their website: http://www.aussiefloyd.com/, highly recommended if you like Pink Floyd. Here are a few pictures that my father-in-law took with his camera phone.

We had good seats, which isn't hard to do at the E Center. They call it the Ford Theater (which my father-in-law decided wasn't the best name for a theater and that we'd never bring Lincoln there and sit on the balcony...little obscure history reference. If you don't get it do a Google search for Lincoln and Ford Theater). Essentially the Ford Theater is the E Center split in half, which makes it a great place for a concert.

They came out and play the entire album Dark Side of the Moon, took a 15 minute break then came back and played some of Pink Floyd's greatest hits. Like "Run Like Hell", "Another Brick in the Wall, Part II", "Wish You Were Here", etc. Great show and like I said before highly recommended. They have come September/Octoberish the past few years. So if you want to go next year just check out the website around July/Augustish to get the date.

School

Just got out of class, my favorite class of all. All I have to do is sit there and listen to a speaker for an hour and I pass the class. I wish all of my classes were that easy and interesting. The speakers are CEOs, managers, accountants, etc. from local businesses. Tonight we had a good speaker. He made a great point about how people discount the things they are good at. For example people that are really good at art, but don't think they can do anything with that talent to make money, but there's marketing, graphics design, etc. This is what he suggested to find out what you're good at and how you can apply it to some career where you can make money. He said find somewhere to be completely alone, which is the hard part if you're anything like me, then you fold a piece of paper in half. On one column you label it "Activities". These are the activities that you enjoyed doing when you were younger, things that came naturally to you, and don't let yourself say, "Oh, that was nothing, I'll never be able to do that for a living". Next you label the next column principles, meaning the principles behind those activities. For example, if someone is good at and enjoys playing Monopoly, the principles behind Monopoly are strategy, negotiation, finance, etc. Therefore someone like that would be good at management. It's a business class so he geared his examples toward business majors, but I really think that it would apply to just about anything. Anyway, there's my two cents for the moment.

Plagiarizer

I got to level with you all, I stole that last post from myself. Here's the whole comedy routine. Let me know what you think, I know it's kinda hard to read, just picture me saying. Here you go:

Have you ever noticed how in action movies they always show the hero in boot camp type training? You know they swing over a mud pit, climb over a wall, crawl under barbed wire. Part of the training camp always involves being blindfolded and constructing a gun. There’s always someone looking over their shoulder with a stop watch timing them. Why? Do they ever have to construct a gun under a certain time limit in the movie? Let alone in the dark? You always see them climbing walls or swinging from one building to another to get into the villain’s lair, but never building a gun in 30 seconds. Imagine it you see them as they’re being chased through a shopping center and they encounter a “Build a Gun” gun shop and what’s this, the power is out, no lights! Never happens. Don’t worry though I’m going to write an action movie and put a seen like that in it. I’ll even spoil the ending of my unmade movie right now: The hero dies at the end. That’s right he dies. That’s how I’m going to end it. The hero thought he was hot stuff and did not spend as much time building guns with a blindfold on as he should have and he’ll falter under the pressure and die. The men in ski masks will come in they’ll shoot the hero up good. Here’s something off the subject, why do they call them ski masks? Have you ever seen anyone skiing with one of those masks? No, but on the news they’ll talk about a bank that was robbed and the bank robber was wearing a “ski mask”. Yes I did make quotations because I think they should be called something different. I think the new name for “ski mask” needs to be robber mask or bad guy mask. Just a thought. So the hero dies. There you go now I don’t have to make my movie and you don’t have to see it. It’s one less thing that I have to procrastinate.
Procrastination. I looked up procrastination and you know what it literally means? Forward to tomorrow. That’s fitting I guess. While I was looking that up I found a website that promised to “finally stop procrastinating”. I was too busy to find out more so I’ll do it later. Just kidding, now we’ve all heard those jokes about procrastination but seriously don’t make a procrastinator do something, they’re just going to put it off till tomorrow. I personally think that procrastination is human nature and we shouldn’t feel bad for doing it. For example I made all this up about 20 minutes ago and I feel like it’s going great. I mean look at it this way, we put off death as long as we possibly can. Another side note, why do we send flowers or plants when someone dies? Isn’t that a little insensitive? “Sorry about your dad that died, but here’s a plant. So that every time you see it you’ll think of him. Then when the plant dies it will remind you again of your dead father.” So back to procrastinating death. Everyone wants to procrastinate death so why is putting off my bills such a bad thing, huh?
Speaking of things we shouldn’t do here’s another thing that we “shouldn’t do”, don’t drink and drive. There are commercials telling us not to do it, magazine ads, all that kind of stuff. I was driving the other day and I saw a license plate cover that said, “Don’t Drink and Drive.” At that point isn’t it a little too late. I mean, (in a drunken voice) “Dang, you mean I shouldn’t be in this car driving right now. Oops”. Then they pull over and throw up. Seriously though don’t drink and drive.
Another thing that I saw while driving was a license plate that said TJSRIDE. I think that means “TJ’s Ride”. You know what I’m going to do the next time that I see a license plate like that at a mall? I’m going to stand by the car till they come out. I’m going to pretend to be trying to use my keys to get into it and when they ask me what I’m doing I’m going to walk around to the back of the car. “TJSRIDE? Oh shoot! How embarrassing, I thought this was my ride, but obviously I’m mistaken because the plate clearly says that it’s your ride. Hi, you must be TJ.” I guess if the guy loses his car a lot the license plate could help him out. “Where is my dang car!? Oh there it is, TJSRIDE. That’s me, I’m TJ.” Or anti theft. Maybe TJ has a neighbor that recognizes TJ’s ride. “Heh honey isn’t that TJ’s ride? Wait a second that’s not TJ driving! What the heck is going on!? Quick call the cops!” Good old TJ.
The other thing that bugs me is when people put stuff like, “My other car is a bike” or “My other car is a boat”. Hate to burst your bubble folks a bike is not a car, a boat is not a car, a motorcycle is not a car, and an airplane is not a car. I want to get a license plate cover that says something like, “My other car is a zucchini” or “My other car is a loaf of bread.” Just to confuse people. “Is he a produce guy? What the…” “Is he a baker? I don’t get it.” In my current situation mine would read, “My other car is…wait this IS my other car”.
You know what makes me laugh? People with their crazy ring tones. You know the people. There’s one in about every office. They’re so eager to show off their new annoying ring tone to everyone around them, but the second that it goes off for real they’re embarrassed and they answer it as fast as they can. They’ll run clear across the office, leap over cubicles, they’ll even push down the boss. It’s greatest is when it goes off in a meeting and they try to act like it’s not their phone playing the theme from the Smurfs. “Huh, what phone? I don’t hear anything.” “Seriously dude you’re not fooling anyone. It’s coming from your pocket man.” I love it even more when Whity McWhite has some gansta rap as their ring tone and it goes off in front of some folks from the “hood”. I love it when guys have their girlfriend’s favorite song as their ring tone. They’re hanging with their “boys” and suddenly you hear Barbara Streisand break out into “Memories” or something totally girly. Or when it’s a really offensive song and they’re talking with their boss, suddenly you have something in your pocket talking about pimps and hoes.
Another thing that makes me laugh is the stupid things that people, including me, say. Like, “The first chance he has, he’s going to be out of here”, as opposed to waiting for the second chance for something to happen. “Here’s your chance”, “No thanks I’ll wait for the second chance”. I used to work in the mall and I had a lady come in and ask the time. She was wearing a watch and I think she saw me look at it because she promptly said that the battery had died. Then she turned to her friend in all seriousness and said, "I wonder what time the battery died". When I was in high school I used to bring my guitar to school and people would honestly ask me, “Do you play the guitar?”, no I just carry the case around for the fun of it.

Too much time to think.

So now that I'm a stay-at-home dad I have been thinking about things, that is when I'm not doing homework, like when I do the dishes or I'm cleaning the house. Anyway, I think about some weird stuff. Like if time flies when you're having fun, and a watched pot never boils, what happens if you're idea of fun is watching a pot of water boil? Just a thought. The other time that I have to think is while on the road, to and from school. The thing that I've observed while driving around is the stupid vanity license plates that some people have. I saw one that said MCSRIDE, I would imagine that it means MC's Ride, but I could be wrong. Now do you really need a license plate to tell you which car is yours? I wish I could have been at the mall when I saw that because I would have waited at the car and been acting like I was trying to get in. Just so when "MC" came out and asked me what I was doing I could walk around to the back and say, "Oh, my bad. I thought this was my car, but obviously it's MC's ride. You must be MC". I want to get a vanity plate and either just make it totally random like "J4HH35" and tell people that it means something or purposely spell it wrong so when people ask me what it means I could tell them that it was supposed to say something else.
Speaking of license plates those little covers drive me nuts too. I see ones all the time that say, "My other car is a...", I got news for you people a bike is not a car, an airplane is not a car, a golf cart is close, but still not a car. I want to get a cover that says, "My other car is a zucchini" just so it will keep people guessing, "Is he a gardener, is he a produce guy, I don't get that."

Well there's a few random thoughts from the vacuum of space also know as my mind.

Well there's the new look of the blog. Hope you all like it. I found out the other day that there are more people like me. Meaning people that think that the ski mask either needs to be renamed or given the respect it deserves. Crooks wear ski masks now, not skiers. If you do a search on MSN for robber's ski mask you'll pull up a few web sites that share my view. I also found out today that another name for a ski mask is a balaclava. There's another useless fact for ya all.

So here I am again, sitting at school before class starts and burnt out from doing homework all day, and I've decided that I need to write a little something. So here goes: something. Get it a "little" something. Anyway, I just wanted to share something that I thought was funny. When I used to work at Spring Communications I had a lady come in and ask the time. She was wearing a watch and I think she saw me look at it because she promptly said that the battery had died. Then she turned to her friend in all seriousness and said, "I wonder what time the battery died". I had to go into the back room to hide because I was laughing so hard. In the coming days I think I'm going to post the script of my stand up routine that my wife doesn't think that I will ever really do. I need to rewrite a few things first and you will also have to picture me doing it (it's funnier that way). If anyone knows of a local comedy club or anything that does an open mic night let me know, I have to prove my wife wrong.